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1.12.06

temperature extremes

the earth is gonna freeze?

  • +20° - Greeks put on sweaters (if they can find them).
  • +15° - Hawaiians turn on the heaters (if they have them).
  • +10° - Americans shake, Russians are planting cucumbers .
  • +5° - You can see your own breathing. Italian cars don't start. Norwegians take a bath. Russians drive with lowered windows.
  • 0° - Water freezes in America, in Russia it thickens.
  • -5° - French cars don't start.
  • -10° - You're planning a vacation to Australia.
  • -15° - Your cat insists to sleep in your bed. Norwegians put on sweaters.
  • -18° - New York landlords turn on the heaters. Russians make their last seasonal picnic.
  • -20° - American cars don't start. People in Alaska start wearing long-sleeves.
  • -25° - German cars don't start. Hawaiians are dead.
  • -30° - Politicians start talking about homeless people. Your cat prefers to sleep in your pajamas.
  • -35° - Too cold to think. Japanese cars don't start.
  • -40° - You're planning a 2-week hot tub bath. Swedish cars don't start.
  • -42° - Transportation stops in Europe. Russians eat ice cream on the street.
  • -45° - All Greeks are dead. Politicians really start doing something for the homeless.
  • -50° - Your eyelids start sticking when you blink. In Alaska, people close the window in the bathroom.
  • -60° - White bears start moving south.
  • -70° - The hell froze.
  • -73° - Finnish special services evacuate Santa Claus from Lapland. Russians wear earmuff hats.
  • -80° - Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets.
  • -114° - Ethyl alcohol is freezing. Russians are unhappy.
  • -273° - Absolute zero, atomic movement stops. Russians wear boots.
  • -295° - 90% of the planet is dead. Russian soccer team becomes the world champion.

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